A person you love wants to lose weight and says she needs your help. Eeek!!
Here is how you can help … without getting punched in the face.
Don’t be afraid. You CAN help. In fact, your behaviour has a bigger impact on her reaching her goals than you might think.
This post is directed mainly to the husband but anyone can use the ideas here to help someone you love reach their weight loss goals.
Below are my five top suggestions to help her out. But please remember that every woman is different and so are their needs, which is why the most important this you can do is…
ASK!! Oh my goodness, please ask her what she needs from you! And ask her to get specific because what works for one woman may not work for another. Want proof? On recent goal setting worksheets I received, one woman would like her family to ask her about the program frequently to keep her motivated but another woman specifically said “Don’t ask me how I’m doing on the program”. Confused? Sounds about right. So ask her what she needs from you!
In no particular order, here are the top five things I’ve found help women the most.
1. Give her the time to exercise…without guilt. If she needs to go the gym, discuss times that work best for your family. If she can exercise at home, give her the space to exercise without interruptions. Kids? Make sure you’re ready to be the awesome fun Dad for an hour. Once the times are set and unless an emergency comes up (“after work drinks” is NOT an emergency), make sure you stick to the plan and be there when she needs you. And please…no guilt because you’ll just be adding extra stress that is counterproductive to weight loss. She doesn’t need to know who had a meltdown or how many diapers you had to change. She doesn’t need her house to look like a tornado blew through while she exercised. She just wants to know she can disappear to take care of herself without her house falling apart. Bonus…exercise is a mood enhancer and she’ll probably be a much nicer person to be around when she is done.
2. Participate with her! I know this isn’t always easy, especially if you don’t need to lose weight yourself but healthy eating and exercise can help everyone! If she asks if you would like to go for a walk, get yourself moving and go whether you want to or not. I promise you’ll be glad you did. BUT, this is one of those “ask her” times though because some women would rather exercise alone and take time to clear her head. Generally though, women who has a friend or spouse exercise with them are more successful is sticking with it. This also means eating healthy with her!! Don’t turn up your nose at every healthy food she tries. You may just find something new you like as well. This also leads to the next tip.
3. Keep junk out of the house. Ok, maybe this is just me but if there are potato chips in my house, I can find those bad boys anywhere! Worse is when they are left out in the open! I can have a chip in my mouth before I even realize what I’m doing! Be thoughtful and don’t leave temptations lying around. If you are seriously craving those candy, go buy it and eat them in your car. It won’t kill you to sacrifice with her for just a little while. It will make her feel less alone and less likely to cave.
4. Don’t harass her that “just one treat” is ok. This one still relates to food and is one that really ticks me off. And this goes to everyone in her life…spouse, parents, friends, co-workers. If you know that someone is trying to lose weight and you pull out a bag of cookies, bring a fatty dip to a social function, or celebrate a birthday at work with a cake, don’t make a big deal if they aren’t eating it! There is absolutely no need for you to insist she have “just a little”. You have no idea how many people may have said the same thing to her that week. A bunch of small “harmless” treats throughout the week can add up and sabotage her efforts. And seriously, why is it so important to you that she eat it? Will it make you feel better about your own unhealthy habits? Perhaps. She doesn’t need the pressure so if you are one of these people, STOP IT!
5. Tell her she looks beautiful! But please don’t say if you don’t truly mean it because she will see through you. But if you genuinely see her losing inches, if her clothes are fitting better, if she is wearing something you haven’t seen in a long time, tell her how great she looks! She is probably thrilled that she is able to wear it again and whether she admits it or not, it makes her feel good when someone notices her hard work paying off.
Just remember, ask ask ask her want she wants from you!! You will both be happier because of it!
As a public service announcement, here are 5 Things That WILL get you punched in the face:
- Send her any info on weight loss if she doesn’t initiate the search.
- Tell her anything she is wearing is too small.
- Roll your eyes, look annoyed or sulk when she tells you she is going to work out.
- Ask “is that on your meal plan” every time she eats anything.
- Ask her how much she weights. Ever! (but DO make a big deal when she tells you how much she’s lost!).
Now enjoy the benefits of having a healthy and fit wife in your house. Everyone will be happier because of it!
For more information on the services I offer including personal training, small group, fitness classes and online weight loss, please visit www.journey2wellness.ca or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I look forward to hearing from you!
So what did you think of last night’s The Biggest Loser finale? From what I could tell from social media today, it is a HOT topic!! I get very little time to watch TV so my beautiful DVR keeps me up-to-date on a couple shows that I watch when I have a chance (The Biggest Loser sits next to Big Bang Theory – I apparently have an eclectic taste in television). First things first. I was in the Rachel corner from the start of this show and I will absolutely admit this was one of the better, less “drama for the camera” seasons I’ve seen in a while. She was such a competitor and she never backed down. To me, that represents a strong and powerful woman. I also think we live in a world where you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. First she was too fat and now she is getting bashed all over Facebook, Twitter and every blog going today for being “too thin”. Geez, give the girl a break right? But hold on. Did anyone notice the look on Jillian and Bob’s faces when she walked out on stage? Those weren’t the faces of happiness…those were obviously the faces of two very concerned people. My heart broke for Rachel. That isn’t the reaction I wanted for her. But folks, it’s a competition for $250,000. It’s called the BIGGEST LOSER – not The Healthiest Person. Why is everyone (including Bob and Jillian) so shocked that someone lost a crazy amount of weight? She had trainers screaming at her for months to lose lose LOSE!!! She is an amazing competitor and she totally kicked butt! We all saw her just before she left the ranch and looked amazing but even then, she was eating a diet of grilled chicken and veggies. This WOULD happen if that is all you ate and she was in it to win. And win she did! BUT, and this is where I have a problem, at what cost?
Side Note: I’ll admit I have been a long time fan of weight loss shows. I love seeing people change their lives, get healthy, and the personal trainer in me loves watching the workouts but for the record, it should never be a Personal Trainer’s goal to make you puke, pass out or die and if you find a trainer who only has that goal in mind, please leave and report them to their regulatory body.
But back to my point. Did you know that this is Eating Disorder Awareness Week in Canada? Whether Rachel is actually healthy or not (I am not a doctor and cannot judge that from the two minutes I saw her on TV), she did appear shockingly thin. Many viewers already have unhealthy expectations watching this show and I fear this “win” could make it worse. I mean really, ask any Personal Trainer out there and I guarantee you at least one client compares their weight loss to the weight loss seen on these shows. Come on folks…it IS NOT REAL LIFE!! Please stop being disappointed with your amazing 1-2lbs per week weight loss because you are comparing yourself to the crazy numbers that Biggest Loser participants put up. Unless you are removed from your family, your friends, your job, your life and you have nothing else to do except exercise for eight hours per day (I’m still shocked nobody has died on this show yet), have all your organic food, and as was hinted around to this season, copious amounts of caffeine delivered to your kitchen, YOU ARE NOT going to see those kind of results so please stop comparing! My fear is that seeing someone drop from 260lbs to 105lbs in a few months sets viewers up for even more unhealthy expectations and may make them willing to resort to unhealthy methods to achieve a similar weight loss. Awesome job for being such an amazing competitor Rachel but you can be sure she lost the last 10+ lbs just to win the $$ and I would be shocked if we don’t see her in a couple months time having gained a little fat and muscle back and looking rock solid again. Another side note just for the record – I thought David looked better when he left the Ranch then he did last night as well but that again is my personal opinion.
Ok, I know some of you have read this and are thinking, “umm…Deb this is a no-brainer”. But this is one topic that I haven’t talked about much before and based on “current events”, I felt was an important topic to discuss. So in a nut-shell, yep … Hard workouts + Healthy Eating + Changing your Mindset = Reaching you Goals. But please ladies and gentlemen, it is possible to do it in a healthy and realistic manner. You do NOT have to starve yourself. You do NOT have to exercise until you can’t move. And the number on the ******* scale does NOT define you or the work you put in!! What you need is a good attitude towards healthy food – don’t feel like you are “missing out” when you eat healthy. You need a good attitude towards exercise – yes it can be fun, you just have to find something you enjoy (or a great Instructor/Trainer). And you need a good support system – or an attitude that nothing will stand in your way of your success.
Folks, There is nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight and get fit. BUT, you have to love yourself no matter what size you are. Do you want to see results? It can be done and you don’t have to be on a television show to do it! You just need to find out where your comfort zone is and get ready to step outside of it. I promise, if you set realistic goals and pick at them a little more each day, you will succeed. Every step in the right direction, no matter how small that step is, will get you closer to your goal. Never quit! Love to you all.